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Lisa Meets her Master
Author: GrkDom
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(Added on Oct 21, 2003)
(This month 163870 readers) (Total 264240 readers) |
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A young sub girl, who had a rough life, is found by a Master who was seeking the perfect slave and her training begins. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 16 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (9/10) |
Average
Rating:  (9.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (7/10) |
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| Reviewer:
therockhome
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 30, 2005 |
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This is one of the best stories I have read on this site. This story keep me excited through out. I would like to encourge GrkDom to write more stories. I would like to see an update story on how lisa and daphne and their Master's are doing. And of course more adventures. (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
crea
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 25, 2004 |
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This is an excellent story! Yes there are some technicalities with typos however, an editor would find those and i believe it is of professional quality.
Great Job! (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
minx
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 11, 2004 |
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I love this story! I found myself feeling jealous of Lisa and Daphne at times! I look forward to more... (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
Wmnwholves
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 19, 2004 |
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I totally disagree with wackyspurtz, and I see morst of the other reviews agree with me. I think this is a very well written story. I like the mind set for Lisa and Daphne downfall. I encourage you to continue you great work and await more chapters to come. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
WackySpurtz
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 17, 2004 |
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Overly intellectualized writing, that some how still is unable to deliver believeability to the personas involved. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
drake7
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 11, 2004 |
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Overall very good. I would try to be less wordy however and leave some things to the readers imagination, or just leave them unsaid. For examle, in one part explaining why the doctor felt no need to use a condom wasn't necessary and detracted from the immersion of the reader. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
cateyegirl69
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 30, 2003 |
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i (10/10)
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- Replied by:
cateyegirl69
(Edit) (Oct 30, 2003)
- I really enjoyed this story. I was disappointed that chapter three was repeated though as I was looking forward to seeing what punishments were in store. Beautifully written and highly erotic
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| Reviewer:
c69jay
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 29, 2003 |
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Very well written, few mistakes with grammar and spelling, but probably simple typos, nothing major. Great job, and loved the story! (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
jbowler65
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 26, 2003 |
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We like how the story is developing and how her mind is being bent toward her Master's will. Very good job. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
dnalor02
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 25, 2003 |
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super, mach weiter so! (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
Shaya
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 25, 2003 |
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I found this story quite compelling.It is apparent that the Master will be a strict, but loving Master. The slave is naieve, but willing and this for me is a winning combination. I look forward to seeing where their journey leads. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
Alex Bragi
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 24, 2003 |
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I agree this story is shaping up really well.
Unlike e.e. I don't really mind sex in the first chapter, the first paragraph, or even the first line. Damn it, give me sex anytime come to think of it!
Particularly, in an erotic story, wham-bam sex right from the start can be a good 'hook' to gain a reader's interest. However, this story is proof its definitely not essential. The first couple of paragraphs told me where the story was heading, and I wanted to read on, now that's a good 'hook'. Now while there was no 'sex' in the first chapter there sure was plently of tease. Note how the author used many little subtleties to get that dominant feeling across. The missing contractions for instance, give a firm strong feeling to much of the dom's dialog. e.g. "I will clear up all your credit cards..." "You will relinquish your apartment ..." are so much 'stronger' than - I'll and you'll.
I also spotted the occasional typo/spello, but nothing too sinful. I know many words are spelt differently in the US to Aus anyway, so that could account for a couple of them.
On the really nit picky side, '1 child' is not really acceptable. I think '24/7' is a little loose too, but hey that's just my opinion, ok? Oh, and periods, where words are missing, use three only followed by two spaces. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
e.e. norcod
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 23, 2003 |
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I have only read the first chapter - I want to spread this out rather than devouring it all in one gulp. So far it is excellent - I like slow openings. To write a good BDSM story with no nudity or sex in the first chapter is the way it should be done. I am sick and tired of opening lines that read "When she came to her naked body was"! I like the attempt to develope character right at the start and the attempt to enter both the mind of the protagonist and the antagonist.
My only quibble is the occasional typo.
Keep up the good work. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
countrygirl9662
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 23, 2003 |
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I can hardly wait to read more chapters! (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 22, 2003 |
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Great promise, however a nc them will make it that much better (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
john964
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 22, 2003 |
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An excelent start to a very promising story (9/10)
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