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Jack - The Party (illustrated story)
Author: Bo Varg
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(Added on Sep 26, 2005)
(This month 76677 readers) (Total 133387 readers) |
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Jack's biggest client, Alf Cleghorn invites the BDSM-society to a garden party where he is going to introduce his new found sex slave and her daughter to the society, but something goes terribly wrong at the party |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 5 |
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Weighed
Average (?): (5.5/10) |
Average
Rating: (5.5/10) |
Highest
Rating: (6/10) |
Lowest
Rating: (3/10) |
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| Reviewer:
nikita
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 20, 2006 |
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The illustrations were good and I followed the story better by looking at the piccies. The most important thing you must do is to get a new editor. (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 1, 2006 |
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Is English your second language? The story seems to say so. Many, many spelling and "wrong word" errors; you need an editor, badly. (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
heycarrieanne
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 26, 2005 |
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So-so writing, needs a lot of improvement in plot development, and grammar. Also, that switching fonts was kind of annoying, too. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
La Toya
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 26, 2005 |
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A Fair start, would have liked a little longer first chapter. (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
bdsmbill
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 26, 2005 |
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This was an interesting start, but it would be better if you made your installments somewhat longer. 9K is a bit short. (6/10)
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