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Suzie
Author: Excalibur
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(Added on Jan 2, 2010)
(This month 57515 readers) (Total 70613 readers) |
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a night at a party leads Suzie into a new life of debauchery and slavery |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 2 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7/10) |
Average
Rating:  (8/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (6/10) |
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| Reviewer:
littleone_
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 26, 2010 |
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And Excalibur hits another home run. (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
Venom
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 9, 2010 |
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This story has a nice start with its rather accurate description of Suzie's first hours in slavery. But then? "For the next two days", "Over the next three weeks"...
There is nothing wrong with leaps in time during a narration, but the author rushes through the days and weeks, without even pointing out Suzie's actual breaking.
"When her door opened, she did what was required of her,..." and "The lesbian had gone, and in her place was a subservient and obedient slut." is all the reader gets.
Furthermore, the story doesn't derive advantage from the drug idea, although here lies big potential.
On the other hand, no one can say that this is just a bad story. With an editing, it is in for a 7. (6/10)
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