|
|
|
|
|
generals wife
Author: sam_boy
|
| |
(Added on Aug 21, 2011)
(This month 67260 readers) (Total 86687 readers) |
| |
beautiful cruel wife of general have pleasure out of her sadastic ways |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 4 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| 1 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
6 |
7 |
8 |
9 |
10 |
| 75% |
0% |
25% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
|
Weighed
Average (?):  (2.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (1.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (3/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (1/10) |
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
wistan
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 10, 2011 |
| |
I wouldn't give it a 1 because there's the potential for a decent story here, it's just spoiled by the way it's written.
If all you did was go through and put quotes around everything people said then sort the paragraph breaks out properly, that alone would boost this story to a 5 or 6 out of 10 at least. (3/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Dryhill
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 29, 2011 |
| |
Plenty of detail of settings, clothing and punishment, but spoilt by poor sentence structure. Sam this could be a really good story but it desperatley needs editing.
Sam you do have the makings of a multi-part story and a clear eye to detail so please do not give up writing. (1/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
StrictMasterD
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 23, 2011 |
| |
ro hard to read and follow based on the structure of the story (1/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Free Master
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 23, 2011 |
| |
Very hard to read and get an idea of what was happening. No quotation marks to paraphrase verbage. Too many sentences mashed together, which makes the story confusing. Sam, you could really use an editor or an English grammar class. I don't
write this to be mean, but to help you build a good story. Good luck.
(1/10)
|
|
|
About 